Five nights ago, I rose from a one-hour nap and my roommate Q had come home with two girls. I recognized one of them, she knew me and we'd hung out before. She's a lesbian, by the way, and I presumed her friend who came with also was. I already had plans, so I left after a bit of banter. I also thought I might get in Q's way of having some physical fun with them, or in between the two ladies who had arrived. Sometimes I feel awkward in such situations, other times I feel very intimate and involved. It can really vary. But I digress.
Part of me had a twinge of guilt at denying that primal urge to get in there and help pretend to procreate somehow. But my rational mind dismissed it, and I trudged on to my original evening plans. And I had a great time. I came home later that night and Q was missing, so I assumed he had taken himself with more pressing needs, hopefully one of the girl's places. I asked the next day and he actually went to another woman's house entirely...he has a lot of female friends. Also, I hadn't missed much, except possibly the two ladies making out on Q's bed. Guess I lucked out on this choice.
Don't get me wrong, there is no moral to the story. "Hah, screw potential relationships or flings and have fun elsewhere!" No, I'm going to rationalize my decision.
I recently explained what futanari was to a boy I met who was in my room at the moment. I told him I identified myself as "futasexual", and tried to explain my definition of the term. Let's say, for example, that I'm a cis bi-curious-curious* male. Though I've stuck to one side of the orientation scale for the most part, futanari has made me develop an interest and appreciation in the other side. This isn't the case for everyone, but it's how it worked for me. If arguments that keep erupting on 4chan and Gelbooru are any indication, most males have an instinct to lash out at any depiction at a penis, and paint any other man who enjoys these depictions as irredeemably homosexual. "You're not attracted to the woman, you're attracted to the penis attached." This argument is flawed in a great amount of ways but the simple answer is "If that were true, these people would just move over to gay porn, where there are more penises".
Anyway, this boy caught on with what I said fairly well, though he couldn't get into futa like I could. So I would say he was not a futasexual. Did that mean we were uncompatible? No, not entirely. It was more our own usual sexual orientations holding us back. But as another example, I once asked a female friend of mine about her thoughts on futanari, and said it was not for her. The virtues of the male personality and physique were appealing to her, and futanari is a way of divorcing the male sex organ from those virtues. Though she is very physically attractive, and there may be a potential attraction between us, I would not pursue a relationship with her because I know she's not as futasexual as I. (Value-neutral sex would be just fine, of course, but if you follow the link you'll see that it's not necessarily a good idea.)
I made a post over at Futanari Palace's Discussion board (login account needed to see the place, but you can make one for free quickly and easily) to ask what people thought of the term. FP is the largest and certainly most resourceful futanari community I've encountered, so I should hope to find the most passionate (supposed) futasexuals there. But the results made me do a double take. The poll that went with the topic
had a 60/40 split between "Yes, I see myself as futasexual" and "This term is stupid, and there's no such orientation". The former didn't leave any responses in the topic, so I estimate they didn't examine my opening post very closely and just voted for the affirmative-looking answer. The written replies seemed to echo the latter vote. I think green52's response put it best:
I agree that the term is unnecessary if futanari don't exist. Your orientation is defined by who you flirt with at a bar, not what you beat off [to]. "Feet" isn't an orientation.
I'm not sure why I didn't think of this myself. The foot fetish, rampant and fervent its followers may be, don't get a term like "podosexual" to indicate their love for feet. In terms of compatibility, they need someone with feet, not someone who also has a foot fetish. So what's the futasexual equivalent, in this context? I can only love someone with a penis? That's certainly not true. I can only become enamoured by a trans person, or anyone with many travels through the gender spectrum? No, to date all my lovers have been cis. I can only love another futasexual? Maybe. Like I said, I'm very left-brained, and a bit more on the T side of the Meyers-Briggs scale. I consider my level of empathy too low to engage in love, or even risk getting involved in such a nebulous concept, for the sake of the other person. If to love someone means spending an indefinitely long amount of time with them, then yes, I would certainly prefer that they be into futanari, although I think the only possible end result of that would be the subject of our dirty talking and potential role playing scenes. If that's the case, being futasexual doesn't even matter a whole lot, does it?
But like I said before, being into futa for so many years has entangled and influenced my other orientation vectors. All that fetish cross-polination the Wikipedia article mentioned certainly fits the bill, too. I've seen no end of crazy things on this here internet thanks to my pursuit of futanari, more things a timid straight-laced person would never hope to see, and gained appreciation for several of them. I knew I liked futanari as soon as I saw it, which would ring true for anyone who discovers their secret orientation later in life. Now I feel like I'm having queer sex, even in the most vanilla of settings. But I think I know why that was the case, which I will cover in a later, later post.
In my next post I'll talk about role-playing, and what its significance is for futasexuals, whether they exist or not. Leave some comments for me. I want to know if people think futasexuality is a real phenomenon or not.
*Bi-curious-curious is just jokes. "Sometimes I lay awake late at night, wondering if I'm bi-curious." Let's say, to continue the example, that I'm a 75% straight male.